Episode 132: Stop Saying Sorry (So Often)

Do you say “I’m sorry” all the time? Maybe when you don’t even really have anything to be sorry for? I was once told that I say “sorry” too much. In fact, overusing "sorry" can undermine the meaning when you do need to apologize. I’ve really tried to work on only saying sorry when I have a reason to. Here are some tips for not apologizing too often.

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Transcript

The Habit Apology Wake Up

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Are you using this phrase too much? Hey, I'm Stephanie Jones, host of the Giving Your Best Life podcast. And that phrase is I'm sorry.

A Manager Names The Pattern

SPEAKER_00 0:17

I had no idea how much I was using this phrase until one of my managers pointed it out to me in a review years ago. So I worked for a Fortune 50 company, and you know, every quarter, every half a year, something like that, is we would get reviews. And you'd sit down with your manager and they would give you feedback on what you were doing well. You would look at your goals, how are you progressing? Um, and then they would also give you feedback on like what needs improvement. And my leader gave me this feedback. And she's like, Stephanie, you use the phrase, I'm sorry, too much. It's in your emails, it's if you join a call, it's in a text. And when she said that, it hit me. Wow, she's right. I think it just becomes a phrase that we don't even think about that we're using. It is just like this automatic response. And what it really caused me to do was pause and think about every time I sent that. Why was I saying I'm sorry? So I want you to think about is that a phrase that you are using? Whether it's um in a text, in an email, at work, whatever, fill in the blanks with your friends, with your family. And what I realized is we use overuse this word, and it kind of it dilutes the meaning of between when there's a situation where we really should be sorry for it versus a situation where we don't have anything to be sorry for.

Texting Boundaries And Response Expectations

SPEAKER_00 2:03

So I'll give you an example. I do not respond to text immediately. And I have friends who, if they don't respond back to their text to me, like let's say it's been six hours, something like that. I will get a text from them. Sorry, I'm just getting back to you. And I used to do this all the time, but I got to thinking, it's like, what are they apologizing for? I really try to no longer say, I'm sorry for just getting back to you, unless it's been like a really long time. I'm talking 24, 48 hours. Why? Because one, I have a life, I am not tied to my phone. Two, is I work, I run multiple businesses. And so I don't have time. And what I do is very creative. And so I don't have time to constantly be checking my phone, you know, whatever that person needs or whatever response it needs. Like every time you do that, you disrupt your flow of thought. And then it takes you so much longer to get back on task. And we live in a society where this unrealistic expectation and standard has been set of like you have to send an immediate response. But what I realized is I'm the one that gets to set that standard and expectation. And so if I'm the one putting pressure on myself of, oh, I've got to respond immediately, that's on me. Now, I also with my clients is I will let them know I will always get back to them within like 48 hours. And I think that's reasonable with everything that you know we have going on on our plates. Also, in an email, so I kind of talked about text of really thinking about like why are you saying I'm sorry?

Cleaning Up Apologies In Email

SPEAKER_00 4:06

And how can you rephrase that? And then I think about it in email. If you are in the workforce, you know, a lot of times is I would start my emails out with I'm sorry. And now I really pause and it's like the majority of the time I have nothing to be sorry for. Now, I will say sometimes if um like it's been longer than 24, 48 hours when I've responded and I just had a lot of stuff pile up, or maybe I've been out of the office, or maybe I thought I was gonna get something done quicker. You know, I might say, hey, sorry for the delayed response. But again, I really, you know, hold that sorry for when it's appropriate. So I just really want you today is to pay attention to your words and think about if you're saying I'm sorry, and then ask yourself why I'm saying it, and then really hold those I'm sorries for the appropriate time when you really need to say I'm sorry.

Hold Sorry For What Matters

SPEAKER_00 5:13

So I hope you enjoyed this episode, this little bit of advice, and uh if you would subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend. Maybe share it with a friend who's always saying, I'm sorry. Thank you for listening to the Giving Your Best Life podcast. If this episode encouraged you, would you please share it with a friend or family member? Also, we'd love it if you would rate and review this podcast. Finally, if you want to connect with us, subscribe to our YouTube channel or follow us on TikTok and Instagram at GivingYourBestLife. Have a fabulous day.