Giving Your Best Life
Join Stephanie Jones aka Giving Gal, as she chats about “Giving Your Best Life"! In each episode, she shares intentional ways to give to yourself and others, how giving and gratitude changes your life and ways to go after living your big dreams and accomplishing goals.
Giving Your Best Life
Episode 111: Are People Distracting You: Staying True to God's Calling (Part III)
Have you ever felt sidetracked by well-meaning people, even when you're trying to stay true to the calling God has for your life? Join me, Stephanie, on this powerful episode of the "Giving Your Best Life" podcast as we wrap up our distraction series by focusing on the often-overlooked topic of people who divert us from our path. I'll share personal stories about my own struggles with staying on track.
Together, we'll explore the challenges of prioritizing God's calling over the demands and expectations of others, using insights from Matthew 6:24 and Galatians 5:16. Learn how to strengthen your prayer life and seek daily guidance to remain steadfast against distractions, no matter how well-intentioned they may be.
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Hey friends, it's Stephanie here with episode number 111 of Giving your Best Life podcast, and today I'm diving back in and I'm wrapping up my distraction series and this episode is going to focus on people who distract us. This is a huge topic. I think it's why I've probably put it off this is a huge topic. I think it's why I've probably put it off Because, if you go back, part one of the distraction series was episode 102. Part two was episode 105.
Speaker 1:And here I am, six episodes later, at 111, doing people who distract us, and I think why I was avoiding this is because there's so many ways that I could take this. I'm sure some things I'm going to say could people could take offense. So just know that that is not my intention with some of the things that I talk about. It's just I've been praying through this, I've been taking notes, um, and I've been giving it a lot of thought and time as it relates to this topic. Know that it is not related to every scenario, but, um, yeah, and I just even want to say today, when I set to record this is I got distracted. Um, I clicked on Facebook, I watched a video on Charles Barkley, an interview with him and I was just like, oh my gosh, you are distracted, which is why this weekend I had deleted Facebook off my phone, but I put it back on this morning because I went into the Giving your Best Life group. If you're not in our group on Facebook, join us. I try to post positive stuff as often as I can, and so that's why I had reloaded it on my phone and then it got the best of me this morning. So, anyways, distractions are everywhere, my friend, but let's jump into this topic today, and it is people who distract us.
Speaker 1:So I want to start out with a couple of Bible verses, and as I was researching Bible verses on distraction, these two came up, and they're not specific to people, but as I was reading them, I just had some thoughts that popped in my head, and so I'll kind of explain of what I was thinking and why I'm going to use these two as it relates to distractions with people today. The first one is Matthew 6, 24. And it says no one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. Now, that passage is related to money, but I think also a lot of times is when we think about things of this world or of the Spirit and of God and making decisions based off of what God and serving God and what he's calling us to do and our calling is. Our calling is we can try to serve people, we can try to serve family members, we can try to serve people at our jobs, we can try to serve friends, we can try to serve people at the church, and sometimes we're putting those people that are in our lives and a lot of these are good people, a lot of these are good people that are in our lives making our decisions and we are following maybe what they are wanting us to do versus what God is calling us to do. And so it's why, every day, we should seek him first and going okay, what do you have for me today? How am I supposed to serve you today? Who am I supposed to serve? How am I supposed to serve?
Speaker 1:Because I think a lot of times, people can come in and be a distraction of what God is calling us to do and maybe what he has told us to do. You know, I was in prayer time two hours ago and, you know, from that time to here, distractions can come up, and so and I'm going to talk a little bit and kind of walk through of how I do this and I am not perfect at this and I have made a lot of mistakes, which is, I feel like you know maybe why I'm. I'm talking about this because I've had some lessons learned and, um, just some recognition, and if I could go back, there's a lot of scenarios that I would do different things. I would do different, um, because I allowed people to distract me, and sometimes, when people distract us, it's the easier thing to do. Often, what God is calling us to do is not easy. It's not always what the world thinks is the best. It often might even seem crazy or counter to what somebody thinks we should do, or what the world thinks that we should do, and so sometimes we come up against and I've talked about this in the past is like this, resistance, and it might even be resistance that we're getting from people, which can be a distraction, and so I'll talk about is. This is why you have to be in prayer. You have to really know and get clear on what is the vision that God has for your life, because you'll have to be able to stand on that to be able to say nope, thank you, but no, nope, thank you but no.
Speaker 1:The other verse that I have is in Galatians 5, 16. And it says but I say, live by the spirit and you will not carry out the desires of the flesh, for the flesh has desires that are opposed to the spirit, and the spirit has desires that are opposed of the flesh are obvious. And then it goes out to list a bunch of things, and then it talks about the fruits of the spirit obvious. And then it goes out to list a bunch of things, and then it talks about the fruits of the spirit, which starts in 2022. I encourage you to read that, actually that whole chapter, freedom of the believer, because I love this. What it says in actually verse five, one it says for freedom, Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not subject again to the yoke of slavery, and I really think sometimes is we can be a slave to what other people want in our life. Instead of separating ourselves from the world and going nope, I am going to do what God has called me to do. It's why we have to pray and seek God's guidance, like I said as it tells us in verse 16, is live by the Spirit. Let the Spirit guide you in where you are supposed to go instead of letting people guide you.
Speaker 1:A lot of times these will be in opposition and I said it in the beginning. It doesn't necessarily mean what people are asking you to do or ideas that people give. They might not be bad things, they might be good things. They just might not be good things for you, just might not be good things for you. And so I had written this in the wall in my prayer closet is the flesh seeks distraction. Entertainment, busy, mind busyness. But that is not. I would say. The distraction is often from the devil, not all the time, but often because our flesh seeks that out. It's why I, before I sat down to do this, I clicked on Facebook, because I just did not. It takes work to do this and it's like this is what God is calling me to do to put out this episode, to record this message. But it's like there's that little distraction of Facebook because that's easier, that's mind numbing. So, anyways, the flesh seeks distraction. Remember that when you're being distracted, it's like what am I being distracted from? What is God calling me to do? Why is this important? I also think and I'm not going to dive into these I feel like I've gotten a really clear one lane I want to go down as it relates to this distraction, as it relates to our calling, because I feel like it's what I've experienced the most and actually I see consistently with the clients that I coach.
Speaker 1:But distraction with people can also be a division of Christ followers. So Christ followers we see this on social media all the time as it relates to politics or big issues in our country that you will see Christ followers being pitted against each other. This is a distraction. These are things of this world and we don't fight those. We fight not things of this world or of the flesh, but really in the spiritual world. Those are the battles that we should be fighting. I was even thinking about sometimes going out with friends. That can be a distraction.
Speaker 1:I had a period in my life where I just said yes to everybody and everything and I would be gone almost every night. This was a season when my husband was working evenings and I didn't want to be home by myself, and so I would just go out to dinner all the time. I was always meeting people. I was always just doing things, but what I found is a lot of times is I was wasting the time that God had given me, and I did have that kind of awakening moment where it was like, oh my gosh, instead of looking at this as, oh, it was terrible that my husband was gone every night. I hated it. Um, woe is me. I was really bad time in my life for a portion, when he was working that second shift, um, but then I had this shift of. It was such a gift. It was such a gift to have that time, um, where I could focus on the things that God was calling me to do, and a lot of that season was um, writing and um. I was very, very busy with speaking opportunities, and so I was able to not have distractions.
Speaker 1:Not that my husband is a distraction, even though he can be sometimes. I say that with a chuckle, because a lot of times when he is home, I want to be hanging out with him. I want to just be maybe sitting down watching TV, which sometimes that's not a bad thing, but I do have to be disciplined sometimes to be like, okay, you know, go work on that project or go do writing, you know, go work on the upcoming speaking engagement, so on and so forth. So it's always a balance. But so, going out with friends, be really discerning about how you are spending your time and who you are spending your time with. So that's all I'll say.
Speaker 1:With that, I also think, is people can be a distraction and cause drama in your life. You know, I know people who I'm just like. They are always around drama and they are putting themselves in drama instead of making hard decisions, of getting themselves out of the situation. Or sometimes they are the drama and they are causing the distraction around everybody that they are encountering. So it might be.
Speaker 1:A good question is to think about am I the person that causes drama or am I always surrounded or involved in drama? And we can see distractions on social media. Within the church, gossip can be a distraction. Judgment can be a distraction of other people and at the end of the day, I always think about how do I love these people, how do I support people? You can ask the question is this a distraction? Is this living out? Are my words, are I speaking? Who am I with, if this is things of the flesh or things of people that God is calling me to be around to support, to pray for?
Speaker 1:That's one thing a lot of times is, maybe I don't want to hang out with somebody or go do something, participate, because I'm like that's a distraction in my life, even though some things seem fun, they seem great. But I'm like can I pray? Are there other ways I can support? Are there other ways I can support? What I really want to my prayer closet is how do we hear from God? Because maybe you're thinking well, stephanie, I don't even know what God's calling me to do and how we hear from God. Is one talk to him, be in prayer, sit in silence? But what I wrote down is we must strip away what we don't need, and sometimes that can be stripping away people in our lives that are squawking in our ear all the time and we are no longer able to hear. What God is calling us to do is because we are letting a person or certain people in our lives be a distraction.
Speaker 1:I recently probably over the last six months maybe I noticed this theme with some coaching clients that I have. Now, all these clients have small businesses but, as I was thinking about this today because I know you as the listener, you might not have a small business, but we can take this scenario and it applies to, like I said, a goal that you're working on, the calling that you're walking on, the calling that you're walking out in God, that God has for you. It could be a parenting situation, it could be at work, it might even be volunteering, it might be something you're doing in the church or thinking in the church, it might be in your marriage. So take this scenario that I'm about ready to give you and apply it to with whatever you have going on or your situation in life. I want to preface to say that, before I jump into this and what I found in all three of these scenarios and even my own life is the majority of people are very well intentioned when they kind of step in to these situations is they are well intentioned.
Speaker 1:There isn't this ill will, this, you know, wanting bad for you, wanting to distract you. That is not the majority of people's intention of what they're doing or why they are doing it. What I found is, a lot of times is one, and I can even do. This is so a lot of times I'll ask somebody do you want my advice? Or if somebody comes to me, like I just had this happen today, a lady that I hadn't talked to in a long while messaged me on Facebook and she wants my advice, specifically on a situation that she's in, and so I think, trying to get good about and again, this is something I struggle with. So I'm preaching to myself as much as I'm like having this conversation with you is like, hey, do you want some advice on that? Or hey, I have an idea. Can I share it with you? Because sometimes I don't wanna. This is terrible, but it's like my calling is so clear of what God is having me to do that I don't want to hear what other people have to say unless they have been in prayer and they feel like what they are telling me God is asking. God has laid that on their heart to tell me to reach out to me.
Speaker 1:A lot of times people just say like what pops into their head, and then they're off and running and that kind of goes back to what I was talking about. Like you know serving God, or serving money, or you know serving people of it, that's just of their flesh, that is not coming from God. So, remember, people are mainly well-intentioned. Remember people are mainly well-intentioned is, first of all, if you have not done this, is you have to get clear on what God has for you, for your life, your calling, or you have to have, as I speak about this, a specific goal that you are working on. If you are not, you are working on.
Speaker 1:If you are not, it is so hard to figure out how you are supposed to be spending your time. Who are you supposed to be investing in working with, listening to? You'll just kind of go throughout your life with no direction, no guidance. The Bible tells us to ask, to seek. This is where you have to be in prayer. If you are not in prayer and don't have a prayer life, that is where I would say is start. Let that become a habit, a lifestyle, and I don't want to just say this habit of just having this routine. Okay, I pray every morning, because it's really not this habit in routine, but it is that relationship and that's where it has to start. If you're like Stephanie, this doesn't even apply because I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing.
Speaker 1:But if I look at all three of these clients, they're pretty clear on what God has called them to do, what they're working on. But all three of them have started to work on something and somebody has stepped in with an idea. Somebody has stepped in with partnering with them on something. I had a client where she actually went all the way through with partnering and it just wasn't the best experience. It didn't live up to her expectations and we got to do a debrief. So know that a lot of times, a lot of times, there are lessons that we can learn. Sometimes things can look like a nice, shiny object and so we commit to doing those things because it looks nice, it sounds great. We start to make things maybe about us and what we can get out of it, when it's not actually what God was calling us to do or how we were supposed to spend our time.
Speaker 1:The other thing I will say is, if you are very clear and you know what God is calling you to do is I have learned over time is to hold those things very, very close to you Be careful who you tell and what you share. Now, sometimes, a lot of times, I will share the bigger vision. But when it comes down to the details and specific things that I am working on, I will be very careful of who I tell. More often than not, I have found if I share something specific or some of the details, I will start getting unwanted feedback, which unwanted feedback causes doubt a lot of times Like was am I really supposed to be doing this or am I doing this the right way? And we start to question what we are doing. I always say doubt is a distraction and it is from the devil, and if you're clear and if you know what God is calling you to do, you will not have that doubt.
Speaker 1:Also, what I have learned is they do not have the vision that you have, that God has given you. So a lot of times, going back to well, intention is their ideas and their inputs can be good they're not bad. It's like that's a great idea but they don't have the vision that God has given you. And if they don't have the vision that God has given you, then a lot of times what they are telling you or what they're asking you to do, or the advice that they are giving you or whatever, fill in the blank. It is not going to align, because they are aligned to the flesh and the things of the world and not of the spirit, which is why I read that verse in Galatians.
Speaker 1:Finally, a lot of times when somebody comes in and I think about these three scenarios, it takes a step of faith. It takes faith in going. I don't want to hurt somebody's feelings especially as women, we hate to tell people no, we hate to conflict but it takes faith in going. I know what God has called me to do and I am going to stick on that path and I have faith that wherever he is leading me is the right way. Now, sometimes, especially depending on the person, who it is and what they are telling me is, I will take that back and I will take it to prayer and I will ask God you know, is this something that I am supposed to do, or am I supposed to turn off the path? Am I supposed to make time and space advice, what you're supposed to do? Or they want to kind of jump in, get on board with what you're doing. I've seen people want to do that. You know they don't want to do all the hard work or they haven't done what you've done and so somebody wants to attach themselves to you so they can kind of get on board to what you're doing, is one thank them first. Thank them for sharing what's been on their heart, the idea, whatever.
Speaker 1:Fill in the blank. We can always thank people, show gratitude, but don't commit to anything, don't have a response beyond gratitude. Next is pray about it. Pray about if that is the direction you're supposed to go, the person you're supposed to partner with, the advice that you are supposed to take, the opportunity that you are supposed to step into, whatever it is. Fill in the blank. Then make a decision. Make a decision and, whether it is especially if it's something that somebody has approached you about doing with them or with a company or whatever fill in the blank is, make sure you follow up and you communicate your decision. And then again we're going to sandwich this with gratitude.
Speaker 1:You know if a lot of time I say no to a lot of people and a lot of things, I have a lot of people that want my advice on writing a book, publishing a book, so much so that the majority of the time I tell people you know, like, here's my consultation fee. You know, thank you for following up with me and I learn a lot of times people aren't that serious. They just they want to use up my time, you know. But I can thank them and I can thank the person that maybe made the connection, but I don't necessarily have to engage with that person because it might be a distraction of my time. The other thing too and I want to I probably should have said this a little bit earlier is when I talked about, like, holding information close to you, being careful about who you tell is I say this and I still make this mistake sometimes, and when I do it it's like, oh, I wish I wouldn't have shared that, because then when I start getting advice from people, I'm like, oh, this is a distraction, I don't need to hear this, they're well-intended is, if you do decide to share is make sure what you are doing is well in flight, that someone cannot get you off course.
Speaker 1:It is so far down the path that nothing is going to distract you or veer you off the course that you are on. And I always say is I have a lot in flight People probably know about I don't know five or 10% of what I work on, and then I'm kind of on when people need to know or when I want to share it with somebody, then I will put it out there, but it's going to be so far along that I know I'm not going to be distracted. So, friends, I hope that this is a little bit longer episode than what I'm used to doing, but I feel like it's so important and it's something we don't talk about because I think it's like I don't know. We've got friends and we got family and people are well intentioned, but traveling this road of the calling that God has for our life is a very often hard road, often a lonely road, but I think sometimes it's lonely and I've talked to this.
Speaker 1:I have one client that we've talked about. This quite a bit is it's kind of lonely because a lot of times people can just be a distraction. They don't get what you're doing or why you're doing something, and you can get off course very, very easily. I have a client we talk about a lot of the negativity that can start to come in from people, and they're not meaning to be negative, it's just they don't have the vision that God has given you. So, friends, thank you for your time. If you could leave me a review on the podcast, share this with a friend, engage with me, send me an email. What are you working on? Send me an email or a message about a topic you would love to have me discuss and, hopefully, friends. This topic of people who distract you and how you can navigate this, and maybe some of the lessons or tips that I've given you, is just another way that you can get to giving your best.