Giving Your Best Life
Join Stephanie Jones aka Giving Gal, as she chats about “Giving Your Best Life"! In each episode, she shares intentional ways to give to yourself and others, how giving and gratitude changes your life and ways to go after living your big dreams and accomplishing goals.
Giving Your Best Life
Episode 99: Breaking Free from Perfection: Navigating Consistency and Planning for Lasting Health Habits with Zach Llloyd
Have you ever felt trapped in the relentless pursuit of perfect consistency in your habits? In this episode, Stephanie with sustainable anti-diet coach, Zach Lloyd, will discuss the perils of this all-or-nothing mindset. They'll peel back the layers of why chasing flawless consistency can backfire, inviting shame instead of success. Together, They will chat about redefining what it means to make choices that honor our future selves, tackling the psychological tug-of-war between immediate pleasures and long-term benefits. This episode will help with your roadmap to balance and understanding.
Connect with Zach:
Zach's website here
Get a free resource: End Calorie Counting Toolkit here
Follow Zach on IG: @zachlloydcoaching
Connect with Stephanie:
Get a free resource The 4G Method Journal here.
Shop Stephanie's books here.
Follow me on IG: @Giving_Gal or FB/GivingGal
Hey friends, it's Stephanie here with Giving your Best Life Podcast and my now weekly guest.
Speaker 2:Zach Lloyd sustainable anti-diet coach.
Speaker 1:So every week we're trying to think of different topics and this morning I came in here for our accountability session, which we do weekly. You can go back and listen to our episode on accountability and what we do and how much has helped us. And I said, Zach, what are we talking about?
Speaker 2:And consistency.
Speaker 2:Which we kind of stopped the last episode and you had this like controversial message which was Consistency doesn't actually exist, and this is a concept I've been kind of wrestling with a little bit where I just think it's, for instance, it sounds crazy, right. What do you mean? Like, I consistently brush my teeth at least I hope you do and shower every day, right? So what does that really mean? What I'm saying with that is that it doesn't exist is in the way that we kind of perceive consistency, it sets us up for failure and or shame in the long run. And I think if we can break it down and not be so focused on just being consistent all the time, which really is just perfection, right, and oh my gosh, that's so good.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right, we're setting ourselves up to be perfect, which we're not, and so what's with that? So what I mean by that really is we have our past selves, our present selves and our future selves, and as much as I think we like to think, we are the same person every day. We're not right Like we're a little different than we were yesterday. We're a lot different than we were a year ago.
Speaker 2:And then who we are tomorrow is just going to be a different aspect of what we are today. So to bring that in because I know it's getting a little out there is really understanding the fact that right now is what matters and you are who you are right now. Therefore, your actions right now matter the most and if you can look at yourself as a steward for the next person that's going to take on your life tomorrow, then you could have a much better outcome.
Speaker 2:And so, really, stewardship, which I always thought was kind of a funny word that I was like yeah, just like biblical it sounds good.
Speaker 1:But what does?
Speaker 2:that really mean. So if you think about right now, usually it might come down to okay, I'm out at a restaurant and I'm eating and I really want the burger and the fries, right, and there's nothing wrong with that?
Speaker 1:I always want the burger and the fries.
Speaker 2:Yeah, same, I definitely don't want the salad. But you want the salad technically because you want to have that long term goal of longevity, or maybe you're trying to lose weight right now, or whatever it is right, and every once in a while you might get the burger and fries.
Speaker 2:Great, that's awesome, do that. But most of the time you really want to get the salad, but you don't. And so that's where this hyperbolic discounting, or just basically future discounting, comes in and this is a big term in economics and psychology, depending on what they call it and ultimately, that burger, that instant gratification of the burger and fries, you will be able to discount the future in the salad. So you're really saying that I want the burger and fries now, and if I have the salad today, yeah, the future will be better, but you're discounting it, so it's not actually worth a lot. So I think monetarily it makes even more sense to understand. It's like would you take $100 today or $200 tomorrow? A lot of people will take the $100 today and not the $200 tomorrow, so you're discounting that $200, even though, objectively speaking, it's twice as valuable.
Speaker 2:So just like with the salad it's a lot more valuable with your long term goals than the burger and fries. Any thoughts on that?
Speaker 1:How do you get so, should I guess? Here's my question is should I be getting the burger and fries or should I be getting the salad?
Speaker 2:Yes, so both, both? The answer is both. So again, it's. It's more about like let's say, you go out to eat two or three times a week, right, then most likely you're with your longevity goals, or especially if you're on weight loss, it's probably not a good idea to get the burger again, I'm not demonizing burgers here, but what I'm saying is it's gold dependent yeah right, that makes sense.
Speaker 2:So if I ate out two to three times a week, I'd want to make sure that one of those times I really had something I was like enjoying and I wasn't eating it because it's good for me, like, but 80% of the time kind of that 80, 20% of the rule of time right, it's like I'm eating something that is gonna sustain me, make you know my goals long-term, stay healthy, that type of thing. That's what you're trying to do.
Speaker 1:I like that idea because I typically we eat out maybe once a week, if that and I've gotten to the point where I don't even like there's no guilt in thinking about, oh, I'm going to get the, like, I'm gonna eat the chips or the nachos or whatever, because I know what the rest of the week looks like. Yeah, and so I like that of Like you don't have to deprive yourself all the time, and I think that's why your anti diet is, because dieting seems like deprivation, and With this is, you're not depriving yourself, but you do have to make good choices. The consistency is, though is it okay consistent?
Speaker 2:and hey, a couple of times a week You're making that good choice, and then the one time a week I can yeah, yeah, yeah, and that's where I think a lot of people can kind of fall into a trap is like, and that's where that discounting occurs as well. Today I Want what's in front of me, this looks good on the menu or whatever it is, and then we don't actually think about the rest of the week, like where what I really like About what you said is like when you go out you know you're really gonna only do about once, once a week so you're gonna take advantage that and really enjoy it to the full capacity.
Speaker 2:It should be enjoyed in a really good way. And then you also know, though, that in the future of that week, that you already have.
Speaker 2:You're prepared for the week. You're gonna eat what is in your in your plan. If you will, nutritionally speaking, that's gonna meet your goals. So you're not worried and you're not restricting and then you're not having that black and white thinking of oh, I'm out to eat, I can't have this, because it's like it's a bad food or it's not healthy, or labeling it in that black and white way which ends up to be a psychological nightmare.
Speaker 1:I was gonna say I'm glad you bring up the cycle. I think about these, because this is one thing that has really helped me mentally is one buying healthy foods, keeping them out of the house. My husband and I have really moved to like cooking at home, making things at home, and I am one of those. We talked on another episode of like when you should check the scale. I'm kind of a daily scale person, but what I found is now that I have this healthy balance of like eating at home now I don't have any guilt when I go out and I can do that burger.
Speaker 1:Or like my girlfriend the other day was like you want me to pick you up a cupcake. She was coming to the house so we were eating at home, but she wanted to get a dessert and I was like, yes, that's fine. Is when I do that is I don't see the scale jump.
Speaker 1:So it's almost like this consistent of healthy eating. You can go out to eat, you can have that cupcake, but I'm not paying for it in the scale because I have that consistency throughout the rest of the week, but I already feel like, oh well, I got to have pizza or I got to have a cupcake, so there isn't that deprivation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. That's exactly what we're talking about. Yeah, I really like that.
Speaker 1:How do you let's say, somebody is used to going out a lot, you know, like that's their schedule, which we know things in life, like if you've got kids, you're busy, you're driving through the drive-thru, like whatever is how do you even start to change that habit? If you're like well, three to five times a week I'm eating out? And I'm always making the bad choice, like how do you flip to even make one good choice that week?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and I've had a lot of clients that basically live on the road, so that's definitely something that can happen. So first off is going in with some sort of a plan, and normally you're eating at some similar places. So having a plan of when you get there you already know what you're gonna order, versus falling into the trap of again that instinct gratification of showing up you're starving or hungry and you just see what looks good and then you order it because you didn't have a plan before you went in, right, so that's definitely something I would start with for somebody who's regularly eating out. So, yeah, please Can I comment on that, because this happened to me the other day.
Speaker 1:Like I just had a long day I was out and about it got to be three in the afternoon. I'm like, oh my gosh, I hadn't eaten all day. I went to McDonald's.
Speaker 1:I like I couldn't tell you the last time I'd eaten at McDonald's but, it was like, because I hadn't planned out of how long I was gonna be, I didn't throw. It was like today I know I'm gonna be out and about, but I've got an apple. Usually I'll do an apple. I'll kind bar, I'll have some stuff just in the car that's healthy, that I know can sustain me. So what I do, I'm getting fries, I'm getting chicken nuggets. I get home, I'm eating those.
Speaker 1:And my husband even commented, like you went to McDonald's. I was like yes, because that was close, it was easy. And then I was just like why? But it was because I hadn't prepared, I hadn't planned. And what I typically do which maybe this is something we can dive into a little bit next week is the planning piece, because that has been one of the things of planning your meals, even planning my day the night before. So, anyways, I know you had a couple other things of that, but I wanted to jump in and say it is true, if you don't have a plan, then you end up at the McDonald's king prize and try this Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I understand and I've fallen free to that countless of times. So I totally understand that and I would say too that without that plan, then you're also just leaving your long-term goals just up in the air, right, and that's kind of like that January 1st feeling we're trying to all go for is like actually having some sort of plan in your year. And what I found amazing over the last five years that I've really thought more about this indefinitely is in every facet of my life that I'm trying to get better at, whether it be financially or relationships, and I go seek out information, whether it's books or mentors of some sort, all of them Talk about having a plan in advance that has to do with, whatever the subject is, so, your finances.
Speaker 2:Like you know, we're all talking about Retirement before. We're talking about today, like what is your goal for your future, right, what is retirement even look like to you, right? Or relationships, like where do you want to take your relationships? And it's one of those things I wish I really understood when I was much younger, because I would have wasted a lot less money. I would have wasted a lot less time with people that their relationship was never going to go anywhere, right. So just reminding ourselves of that, I think it's super important as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's good. Um, oh my gosh, there's so much things I could say on the plan, and even on the money piece.
Speaker 1:But to go back to your goals, people do get in this trap. Here we are, we're recording, this is February 5th and most people have given up on their New Year's goals. Yeah, and my guess is it's probably because they set the goal but there was no plan behind it, and then they had no accountability. And even Zach and I today is, even though we know what our goals are. We set those on January 1st, we worked on those is there's still some things that we're trying to figure out, and so it's not that you have to stop and you're like well.
Speaker 1:I haven't had the consistency. My Plan because I didn't have one or my goal. It's no, like today we were even making a plan of how are we gonna make this work, how are we? Gonna figure it out, and we were not only thinking about the time aspect but the money aspect and Like are there resources? So I think, as you look at consistency, what you're eating, your health is what resources do you need in your?
Speaker 2:life.
Speaker 1:Like who can help you, who's your accountability partner, which we talked about. So other like thoughts you want to guess me yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that and it's. It's like you said. A lot of people have already quit like why did you quit? Why couldn't have been? Okay, this is not working. And then ask yourself, why is it not working and what's? One thing which is hard to do. One thing I can change to make it work a little more, and again, not gonna be perfect, but not that black and white thinking of I'm on the train or I'm totally off the train.
Speaker 2:It's more about asking why did you even get off the train in the first place? Like what if you stayed on the train but it didn't look perfect, but you kept going on the train forward? That's really what we want. Is that forward momentum? And that's what I think you're speaking to now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. I know I said we were gonna wrap up, but I had another thought of. I think that's where the Consistently starting again.
Speaker 1:Yeah we started with consistency, and I think most people is. Once they stop, they just stop, they give up on that goal and I'll go back to just writing. My first book is I consistently quit, quit writing. I mean it was bad, but I consistently started again. Yeah, and I think too, when you're trying to change what you eat or you change your workout schedule, instead of getting into the month and going well, I've screwed up. Now I'm done. I'm just gonna go back to my old ways, back to my old habits. It's like no, just start again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and what I found is the more you work through, especially in the beginning, that Uncomfortable, that's where I always think it's so hard to push through. But if you can push through that uncomfortability, then you're like, okay, I can go out to eat, get a salad, still enjoy it.
Speaker 2:It'd be okay, right, nothing major happen, right, so right, yeah, and I think that speaks to yeah, that's also perfect for that Stewardship of the day, because I think what we do in our minds is I'm not gonna be perfect today and that means that tomorrow, like forget about tomorrow because I'm not even gonna make it tomorrow. Where, if you start thinking about what if I could just do something right today and just win today, and it goes back to that Carpe diem sees, the day thing that's so popular the Romans popularizer, the Stoics did, excuse me is If you really just win today and just think about winning today, then the person that comes tomorrow can worry about winning their day Right. So stop putting all those days on top of yourself. Like let the next person do that right, like you tomorrow, yeah, which sounds weird, but it's actually a much simpler way to think about it. And then all of a sudden you just got to deal with one thing versus the rest of the year, which is just overwhelming, and that kind of speaks to some Bible verses that I thought were interesting.
Speaker 2:Again, thinking of ourselves in the past, the present and then the future is. One of my favorites is Romans 12-2. So do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, and that renewal of your mind should be daily, because it's a new day and it's a new you, and I think that that really speaks to what we're getting at. And then the other one that I just really I actually used AI to find this one, because I was really curious about what the Bible said about, like, this daily renewal, and if it really was, or if it was just something I just created, I'm made up. I love that you're using AI.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so in 2 Corinthians 4-16,. Therefore, we do not lose heart, though our outer self is wasting away, yet our inner self is being renewed day by day, and again, I think that's so perfect for what we're talking about and it's really speaking to that inner self is renewing every day. And then, all of a sudden, what transpires is you only have to worry about today, and God will get you through today, and then let everything else comes as it comes tomorrow, because that's not you.
Speaker 1:That's going to be the next. You I know, so I want to. You reminded me one of my favorite scriptures is Matthew 625-34. It's actually a whole chapter on do not worry, but it talks about like, don't worry about what you're going to eat or drink, your body, food, clothes. Look at the birds. But I thought it said something about oh yeah so 34, the very last one. Therefore, do not worry about to fork. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, or tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of itself.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's perfect. I forgot about that verse. I know that's a perfect verse. Why did I think of that?
Speaker 1:It's okay, because you gave us, like two other great verses, that when we're thinking about this daily, a lot of times maybe we don't think about. So I think it was perfect and we will end on that.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Then next time we will dive into planning Plan. Yeah, chat with you later.
Speaker 2:Have a great day.
Speaker 1:Thank you.