Giving Your Best Life

Episode 119: How to Support Friends and Life Lessons from Montana: Embracing Adventure and Learning Limits

Stephanie L. Jones, Giving Gal Episode 119

Have you ever wondered how to support a friend when distance separates you? In episode 119 of "Giving Your Best Life," I share the heartfelt journey of staying connected and providing meaningful support to loved ones who are far away.

Then switching gears, get ready to be inspired by an unforgettable trip to Montana, where personal growth met breathtaking landscapes. Accompanied by my husband and niece, I embarked on rigorous hikes in Glacier National Park, learned to fish, and embraced the beauty of nature. Stepping out of our comfort zones brought accountability, new skills, and deeper connections. This chapter is a testament to the joy of encouraging others and taking time to absorb the serene surroundings, even if it means wading through freezing glacier water for a perfect moment of tranquility.

Finally, let's talk about the importance of recognizing personal limits and the lessons that come from facing them head-on. During a challenging hike, I experienced heat exhaustion, leading to a profound realization about prioritizing safety over perseverance. Through this ordeal, I learned there’s no need to prove anything to anyone. Plus, hear a touching story about my husband's sudden illness before a significant event and the power of prayer and community support that helped us through. This episode is a powerful reminder how we can support friends and they can support us, embracing new adventures, taking risks, and understanding when to let go.

Note: NLT Reflections Bible (Hardcover Cloth, Ocean Blue): The Bible for Journaling Hardcover

Connect with Stephanie:

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Speaker 1:

Hey friends, it's Stephanie here with episode number 119 of Giving your Best Life. Oh, friends, I just I have so much to share with you. I'm going to take this podcast episode in multiple directions today. So hang on. The beginning's going to be I don't want to say heavy, but you know, heavy. This might be an encouragement for you, it might be encouragement for someone else, it might be a gift that you can give somebody else. You might just say, hey, share this episode with them and let them listen to it. Also, I want to share a little bit about a recent goal that I accomplished and kind of how I established those, and some lessons learned as it relates to that goal, and some travels and really what I consider a small miracle that happened in the last couple of days the power of prayer being gratitude and mindset. So lots to share with you today and I am going to jump right in.

Speaker 1:

So the first thing that I want to talk about is how do we support people that we're friends with, we love, may even be family, that don't live near us, that you can't be there with all the time near us? You know that you can't be there with all the time. You can't just pop in, go over to the house, make a meal, fill in the blanks some of those things that you might do for your neighbor or somebody that lives close with you. So I have a friend that is really struggling right now and she does not live around here, but what I love. I am so proud of this friend and I would just encourage you, if you are in her situation, to do what she has done. So she reached out to me and just said I am really struggling, which I know how hard it is to reach out to somebody and let them know that you're struggling and I asked her what do you need? You know, how can I support you, how can I help you? And she just said can you check in on me? Can you just check in on me every day? And I said, yes, I made that commitment and I have been studying the book of Psalm and every day, going through about three chapters in Psalm.

Speaker 1:

If you've been listening to this podcast, you know that right now, to help me study, I'm using Through the Word app. I love it Just really helps me deep dive and to learn more about scripture. And so a couple of days ago gosh, probably a week ago now, I was reading through the Psalm and got to Psalm 38, which I'm not going to read the whole Psalm 38, but just know that the Psalm is like hardship David is asking God to remember him. It's like there is this glimmer of hope. But I'm going through hard times and I got near the end of Psalm 38 and it just jumped out in my spirit and I thought of my friend and I, you know, just sent her a note, just saying that I was checking in. You know, let her know that I had been studying Psalms.

Speaker 1:

And this is part that stuck out to me. And this is what it said I am on the verge of collapse, facing constant pain. But I confess my sins. I am deeply sorry for what I have done. I have many aggressive enemies. They hate me without reason. They repay me evil for good and oppose me for pursuing good. Do not abandon me, o Lord. Do not stand at a distance, my God. Come quickly to help me, o Lord, my Savior. And I told her. You know, I thought the last couple of verses sounded like a great prayer. You know, dear Father, dear Heavenly Father, I come to you in the name of Jesus. Do not abandon me. O Lord, do not stand at a distance. My God, come quickly to help me. O Lord, do not stand at a distance. My God, come quickly to help me. Oh Lord, my Savior.

Speaker 1:

I, if you guys have read my book or you know, I have a book, uncommon Prayers, with my friend Mike Bellini, and one of the sections of the book talks about praying scripture. You know, a lot of times we don't know what to pray, you may not know how to pray is. We can open the Bible and we can pray scripture. Um, and that's what a lot of the Psalms um to me are um, you know their praise, their praises, their songs, but they can also be prayer. I was looking at some of the previous notes that I had in the margin of my Bible and I highly recommend I'll put it in the show notes.

Speaker 1:

The Bible that I have and kind of transferred over to many years ago was a journal Bible. Many years ago was a journal Bible and just what that means is that it's the Bible, but then it's a bit wider, so that on each side so on the left and on the right side, if you have it open there's lines to take notes, and so if we ever met. And you see my Bible. I have a lot of notes in my Bible and a lot of it is from if I'm studying or maybe I read something I've noticed as of late I wish I would have done this more is I'll come across and I put a date in there with a little note, and that's just something that you can do. I don't have a lot of that in my Bible because I use my thank you notes to God, prayer and gratitude journal, so that's where I tend to put a lot of my notes and then you know I'm like studying the Bible and then I have that as a companion.

Speaker 1:

But one thing I noticed in the journal part of the Bible is it said that be with others in their waiting and that might be waiting for healing, that might be waiting for an answer, that might be waiting for fill in the blank, but just being with them, walking alongside of them, being present. When we can't alleviate their pain, we can still be present. We can look for ways to be present with people as they are going through tough times, and so that's what I'm trying to do with my friend, even though I can't be physically present, is I can be present, sending scriptures, sending prayers. You know, the other day there was a praise and worship song that's in my playlist and I just like throughout the day, I just kept playing that song over and over again and it just reminded me of her and I'm like I'm going to send this. It was a reckless love and I was like I'm just going to send this to her. You know, we have to build ourselves up when we're going through difficult time, with prayer and with praise, being in the word of God. That is the foundation of giving your best. Life is all of these things and that is how we get through tough times, but it's also how we help other get through tough times.

Speaker 1:

So I'm going to transition a little bit and just talk about, you know, a couple episodes ago I was talking about, like summer adventures, having the summer dream list, and I returned. I did a week trip in Montana and I can't remember if on that episode, but I set a goal years ago to spend the night in all 50 states. And many people have asked why did you go to Montana? And I said, well, I had three states left that I hadn't spent the night in Montana, south Dakota and New Mexico. But, friends, what I have found of sometimes, when we set these types of goals, that pushes us to go to places or to do things that we might not ever do, or to do things that we might not ever do, but really the only reason we do it is because we have this goal. We can experience some amazing adventures and we can be pushed outside of our comfort zone. And I got to say I've now spent the night in 48 states.

Speaker 1:

I've traveled in the Caribbean, I've traveled over in Europe and you know, right now, montana, outside of Florence, italy, and I still want to return to Italy. You know, montana is probably one of my favorite places. It was so beautiful, so majestic. I just loved it and I encourage you. So, um, maybe I'll do a whole episode on, like, our itinerary there. But we stayed in Whitefish and then we spent three days over at Glacier National Park and hiked, um, and just did as much as we could. But I bring that up because I was thinking about some of the lessons that I learned on that trip.

Speaker 1:

And I did that trip with my husband and my niece, who just graduated high school. Um, she loves national parks and so actually she's the one that kind of pushed me to book the trip. I had mentioned it to her and then it was like, hey, when are we going? And I was like, oh, like you're serious about this. So sometimes we need those people of when we say we're going to do something to hold us accountable and say, hey, when are you going to do that? But a couple of highlights, and I would have to go back. I really didn't do much journaling on the trip. It was as my niece told me, it was not a vacation, it was a trip because we were up every morning very early, we were on the road. I think we hiked over 30 miles in those three days. You know we late nights and a lot of good food, laughs, conversation, that sort of thing.

Speaker 1:

I learned to fish. I had a lake house for five years, we had a boat and I did not throw one cast in the water in the five years and my husband and niece wanted to go fishing and I said okay, and my husband really wanted me to try it out, like, please, just try. And so I was like, okay, well, first I just had our guide. He would do all the casting and I would just stand there with my fishing pole. I got to say I caught the first two fish. I reeled them in everything, but then I decided after about an hour of being out there okay, teach me how to cast. I want to do this myself and I did great for like the last four hours that we were on the water. If you've listened before, I always have a goal to learn something new every year. I've actually done a couple of things and we're only halfway through 2024, but I checked that off the boxes. I learned how to fish while I was in Montana, so think about maybe something you want to learn. I also looked at.

Speaker 1:

We had a guide one day at the parks. We went up to many glacier and was hiking, hiking up to Grinnell Lake, and she was maybe 30, a little 29, 30, something like that, and just had a real opportunity as we were hiking. I mean we were on the trail you know 10 miles of hiking with her and just to build her up and encourage her and I could tell at times she struggled with her self-confidence and just by the time we came off that trail we'd spent the whole day with her and, man, I just loved her. I wanted to stay connected with her. I think I will. You know she texted me that next day, and so I always think is when we're, even if we're on vacation or we're on a trip, we still have the opportunity to pour in and to give and to see people that we can lift up in our lives.

Speaker 1:

One of the other things to lessons that I had was really, even though we had long days is when we were out on the trail, we drove the going to the sun road not once, but twice. The full thing is we stopped a lot. We stopped a lot. We were not in a rush, we were not in a race. For the most part we weren't on any time schedules. Where we had to be. I mean this literally was, you know, like no schedules, and my niece and I even talked about because it is hard when you're hiking, you know I mean there's so many ways. I think I almost tripped twice and face planted. You know you really do have to look down and pay attention of your footing, which is why you've got to stop a lot If you really want to see the beauty and the nature and the wildflowers and the animals and the lakes and just beautiful trees and scenery and the glaciers, all that stuff that is in Montana, especially about Glacier National Park, is stopping looking up, looking around, take a slower pace.

Speaker 1:

We got to one of the hikes that we did. We got back to Grinnell Lake and the water is coming down. I mean, it's freezing, cold glacier water, and we noticed there was a ton of people that was up on the bank and then there's all these rocks and water flowing through almost like this little creek. And then, if you can walk through that creek, which is ice, ice, cold water, get to the other side, is there sand and there's nobody out there in the sand. And then on the other side of that is the big lake.

Speaker 1:

And our guide really challenged us. Like hey, there's a bunch of people here. You know it's going to be really cold, we're going to have to endure it, but then we can go over there and have literally like this whole beachy area to ourselves to sit down to have our lunch, and so we all agreed that we were going to do it. We all took our shoes and socks off, we rolled up our pants. It was very cold, you know. We walked over, overthrew it, and but it was like we got to experience a whole other scenery and view and pace.

Speaker 1:

And when we got over there, this is what sometimes, when you get outside your comfort zone and you do the things that other people are not willing to do, like I said, everybody else was up on the bank. They were not willing to do what we did. So we got over there and there was a pile of butterflies. It was the craziest, most random thing I don't want to say I've ever seen, but it was really crazy and they were all just like in the sand, fluttering their wings, and I don't think I've ever seen anything like it and we would have missed that if we had not decided to get outside of our comfort zones.

Speaker 1:

And if you've been following me I know I said that a couple of times but, like if this is the first time you're listening, I talk a lot about getting uncomfortable, because that is where we grow, that is how we rely upon God, that is what puts us to our knees, that's what requires us to cry out in prayer, and I've got some things that I'm going to be working on, especially coming 2025. And a couple of people that I've shared it with it's like their first comment is that's going to be uncomfortable. You know I don't know if I'm going to want to do that and it's like don't limit yourself because something is going to be uncomfortable. It's like it frustrates me so much. People miss out on so much of life because they're stuck being where it's comfortable, where it's at, and God has so much more for your life if you're that person that is just living in comfort.

Speaker 1:

Another thing that a lesson that I learned, is like take the drive, do the whole thing. Um, we saw so many people that were like turning around on the going to the sun. Um, we actually did the whole road and instead of turning around, we took another drive, which I think may have been scarier than that drive. Uh, but we got to see a whole other part of Montana that we never would have gotten to see, and it ended up being a long day. But we're just like we are out here. We may never come back to Montana. Let's do it, let's push, let's don't be like, oh, we got to go back, why? So we could, you know, be at our Airbnb and get to sleep a little bit earlier. So you know, there is this balance and I'm big, especially now, after I dealt with burnout for so many years is we take rest, but we also have to take the opportunity to see and to do um, because we get one opportunity to live this life that God has given us. I will say, though, one of the biggest lessons. It was so humbling for me I could tear up. Actually, I am tearing up, but I will try not to cry, and you might. When I tell you this story, you're going to be like what the heck are you crying for? Stephanie, this isn't a big deal at all, but to me, for me, for my personality, it is a big deal.

Speaker 1:

So we had decided we were trying to find a certain trail that took you around Lake McDonald, which is, I believe, the largest lake. We had already been at Lake McDonald, but we wanted to get on the trail that went around it, and by looking at the map, it was like you had to go. We thought, two different trails to get to that. Well, we started it, and I I mean it probably wasn't safe. We probably put ourselves in a bad situation. Praise the Lord that no grizzly bears came, no mountain lions, no wolves, that none of us got injured, whatever. But it ended up being much longer than what we thought it was going to be and we kind of kept pushing because it was like, well, gosh, a sign would say it's 0.4 miles, and then we would track it. And we're like, no, gosh, you know, a sign would say it's 0.4 miles, and then we would track it and we're like, no, it's not 0.4 miles. And then you get up there and it's like something else and anyways, it was a bit disastrous.

Speaker 1:

One thing I've struggled with since I have had my health issues is the heat. I used to be able to tolerate the heat very well and for some reason I just don't tolerate it as well, and so it's 95 degree heat is very hot. I was hydrated, I had been drinking a lot, but it was just like I got overheated and we got to. Actually, at one point I said I think we need to turn around. But there's like this decision of like we're so close, you know, we're so close to getting where we this trail we wanted to get on, and so I just continue to push forward. That was probably a mistake there. This is how people get in trouble in the woods, but anyways, we end up down on one side of the lake, still not at the trail, but we ended up and I was like I got to get in the water and, um, I had like these rags, so like I got to get in the water, you know, get those wet, get them on me. And then we still had to turn around and had a 40 minute hike back. Um, and I was just so hot and I have never quit a race. Um, I mean, I could tell you story after story where I've had severe injuries and would finish a race.

Speaker 1:

I can remember in college we were out doing a run. I was clearly injured and my coach was driving alongside me in a van yelling at me to get in the van, and I was like I'm not getting in the van and so it's just like I just have this no quit mentality to push it, just like I just have this no quit mentality to push it, to suck it up, to finish what you started and I don't know if I'm just mature I say that tongue in cheek is I was like I can't do this. I, I do not. I think I'm going to put myself in a really bad position. I was going to put my niece and my husband in a bad position if there was going to have to be a rescue to get the heck back on that trail. And so my husband said, told my niece to stay with me and he said that he would go back.

Speaker 1:

But I did not feel comfortable. You have to remember, you have to be aware of your surroundings. And I did not feel comfortable, my husband being back on a trail where there are grizzly bears. I mean you enter every time they tell you where you're entering in the back country. You know we had our bear spray and all that. But it was just like I knew I was safer down by the lake, even though I didn't feel well. There were quite a few people around that if something happened they would be able to help me, and so I sent them on their way.

Speaker 1:

I stayed down at the lake, took my shoes, socks off and plopped my butt on a limb that was sticking out from the tree and every so often I would enter the water, just get wet, just really. It took over an hour for me to cool myself off, but I had three thoughts. Is one don't be a hero. I didn't need to be a hero. There was no, like I don't know. Sometimes we just think like we got to be the hero in this situation, even though it's detrimental to us, and it was like no, that's a lie. I think that's a lie from Satan. I didn't need to be the hero.

Speaker 1:

Two is I had nothing to prove and I think I've always been one of those people and we've got to be people. That self-reflect on ourselves is like, especially competitively. I mean, in every race that I've run, I've wanted to win, I wanted to compete, I wanted to be top. You know that sort of thing. I just have that competitiveness in me. And it was like I had nothing to prove that day and realizing it and then at the end of the day, even thinking about to all the racing and all that stuff I used to do years ago, like at the end of the day, none of it matters, none of it matters. And so maybe there's an area of in your or maybe something's gonna come up in the near future where maybe it's something now that you have to really reflect and say I don't need to be a hero, I have nothing to prove and this doesn't matter and let it go and walk away. And I don't know what that situation is, but I feel like there's somebody listening that needs to hear that, and so I'll just that was kind of way more than I wanted to talk about my trip, but so many lessons, so many lessons, and so I just encourage you to get out and have adventures and go places that you haven't been before and take the risk of what if I don't like it? You know we'd never been out there. I planned the whole trip and everything was just off of. You know reading reviews and you know going with the flow every day, and so be willing to do that and see what the day holds for you.

Speaker 1:

I said earlier at the beginning, is I was going to talk about the power of prayer and what I believe a little miracle that happened. My husband and I were in Washington DC. My husband was receiving an award from the White House for a drug case he and his team worked on. Nine teams across the country were being awarded this award, so I was very proud of him. We had flown out the day before that night we went out to dinner with his team and he was up all night with severe food poisoning. He said he was up from 12 to two.

Speaker 1:

I did not wake up until two o'clock when I heard him puking and I was like, dear Lord, we have been married 21 years and I have never heard my husband puke, and of all the nights, literally the night before we're going to the White House to get an award. And so he got back in bed. I had some stomach gut stuff that I have been taking since I had been sick, because you got to heal your gut before you can heal anything else. So I gave him some of that. He fell asleep and while I was laying there I just laid my hand on him and I just started praying. I got up, I think at five or six o'clock in the morning. I knew my mom and my sister would be up and I sent them a text like please pray for Mike. Here's what's going on.

Speaker 1:

When it got to be, I think, around seven central time, I sent a text to one of my girlfriends that I knew would be praying. She immediately responded, sent a prayer and I again laid hands, prayed Mike, friends, I got to say prayer works. There is power in prayer. Have those people in your life when you're going through something, that they can be praying for you. Because you know we walked a mile over to the White House, went through the whole ceremony, made it through, you know, an hour, two hours after the ceremony, the rest of the day, the flight home, and not that he felt well, but he never got sick again and so I just have to share that with you because that's what you know.

Speaker 1:

If we are praying daily and in communication with God and just call and have that where it be, like your first response in everything, in the good times, in the bad, but then also again, I mean I started out this whole conversation today about being okay with reaching out to people and say, hey, I need a prayer for this, I need you to pray, and having those people and know who those people are, that says, yes, I've got you, I will be praying, and so I think I'll wrap up there today.

Speaker 1:

Hopefully some of this, you know, episode was encouragement, inspiring, maybe some funny times and at the end of the day, you know I just talk about God, how it's the foundation of giving your best life and it should be in everything that we do. You know so many different ways that we can give and encourage others. I'm so grateful for the people that I can call upon and pray, um, that can pray for me. And then you know, the Montana trip was a huge goal in some of the things that we did there. And all of these things, friends, are just another way to get to giving your best life.